Monsters vs Aliens

Yesterday after my first visit to the Tallahassee Flea Market (which was everything I wanted it to be) we went and caught the 330 showing off Monsters vs Aliens. Or is it Aliens vs Monsters? Does it matter? Maybe? Not to me? Regardless, it would have been nice to see it in 3D, but we're all too broke to afford the extra dollar, and supposedly, according to Kevin, it was because Katie drives like a grandma.

This movie sports what can only be described as an all-star cast. As in, ya know, they're all stars. You've got Reese Witherspoon, Hugh Laurie, Seth Rogan, Paul Rudd, Stephen Colbert, and Keifer Sutherland just to name a few. I think most of them I have never seen/heard do voice acting before, but they all shone through here. Props to the casting department for nailing the voices for the characters in the film.

The film worked on many levels, mainly in carrying through the Disney founded (at least I feel Disney founded it, but maybe not) tradition of throwing in jokes for the adults that the kids will more than likely not catch. There were a handful of lines in this movie that were clearly targeted at older, and even more educated, viewers and they were all absolutely golden. Beyond the humor though, I really enjoyed it past the first 10 minutes or so. The beginning was kind of awkward due to them rushing to set up backstory and motivation for the main character, but after that the film settled down and became consistently enjoyable.

I'd definitely recommend this movie to just about anyone. I'm sure there are those of you out there who can't come down from their high horse enough to enjoy a good slap stick gag or a Stephen Hawkings joke, but for the rest of us, Monsters vs Aliens was a winner in it's own right.

Monsters vs Aliens gets 6 Beards and A Moustache. The Moustache is for the Hawkings joke. 

I Love You, Man

This past Sunday hit like a ton of bricks, if a ton of bricks weighed like waking up in the morning with absolutely nothing to do. So, to fill the vaccuous gaping maw of existence that is my life I went and had a delicious bacon, egg, and provolone bagel at BagelBagel (6 Beards) for brunch. Now, after this I seriously contemplated laying down in the sun in the parking lot and falling asleep for a while. Instead we went to go see I Love You, Man.

I wouldn't say I had high expectations for this film, because I try to go in without any real expectations. I mean, if you don't have any expectations then you can't really be let down can you? Eh? Eh? Yeah, I also use this philosophy to get me through life. Except not. I think I actually use a reverse philosophy where I expect everything to be as awesome as me and then spend most of my vaccuous gaping maw of an existence being disappointed. Except for with movies! I expect nothing except to be entertained!

Wow, hi, hello there, how YOU doin'?

Anyways, I Love You, Man. Ok, got it. Let me premise by saying I love Paul Rudd and I love Jason Segel in a totally heterosexual with slight homoerotic undertones kind of way. Disregarding this, I Love You, Man presented a simple premise, stuck to it, and won my heart because of it. I was a little worried I wouldn't be able to relate to this film since I have THE BEST and MOST AWESOME group of guy friends a man could ever ask for, some of them going back over 10 years now. Yet this movie was really put together, and through what I'm assuming was a wonderful synthesis of script and acting they made me understand how awkward it would be to realize, at the age of 30 or so, that you don't have a best guy friend and that maybe you probably do need one.

Let me pause here, and address the ladies. While this movie does focus on weirdness that results from two grown men becoming best friends, I promise that not only will you find this film hilarious, but that you more than likely relate to it just as well as I did.

Last note: If you don't like Rush, then don't see this movie, and maybe it's time for you to sit and down think about why you're such a dick.

I Love You, Man gets 8 Beards for being solidly awkward, honest, and hilarious.

The Watchmen

Hello, Darkness, my old friend. I saw you again this weekend when I went to see The Watchmen on Saturday. Ok, enough of that. Saturday after Brandon and Randy accidentally ate raw beef from the Chinese buffet we went to for lunch, we hoped over to the mall to catch the 13:45 showing of The Watchmen. I had strange feelings going into this movie; mainly I wanted the movie to be awesome, but while still doing justice to the original story.

The movie started out exactly as it should have: with the Comedian's death. From there it moved directly into what can really only be described as the best possible translation of the book into the movie. (Part of me wants to stop mentioning the book, but on second thought that would be rather impossible).

Director Zack Snyder did an absolutely excellent job of casting the characters in this film. I was most impressed with the choices of Billy Crudup, Jackie Earle Haley, and Jeffery Dean Morgan for the roles of Dr. Manhattan, Rorschach, and The Comedian respectively. I was also rather impressed with the acting since all of the characters were so thoroughly fleshed out and left no room for the actors to make them their own. This is of course something I agree with in any movie that is a direct or near direct translation of a book to a film.

In addition the effects of this movie were quite satisfactory. There was never a moment where the CGI was glaringly obvious enough to make me consciously recognize it, which is often an issue for me. Along with the effects, I was heartily impressed with the soundtrack. Each song used just felt  so deliciously appropriate, and it really helped to set the mood/facilitate the atmosphere of what was going on at any particular time in the movie.

Besides all of this, I was most impressed with the film itself. It managed to take a very complex story line, one infused with many many subtle sub-plots and by cutting out a lot of these sub stories present to us the core of the novel, and along with it the core story and all that it entails. Considering the film was only 2 hours and 45 mins long, the film managed to convey almost every essential aspect of this movie. A post film conversation made me realize that while I could definitely nit-pick this movie to death, I would rather just leave it alone and enjoy it for what it was.

A quick aside here before I throw down my final judgement: The Watchmen is NOT a comic book movie. It is not like Spider-Man, Ironman, The Fantastic 4, or even the new Batman films. This is a very mature movie, with very mature themes and very intellectual ideas. You have to pay attention to this movie from beginning to end or you will not get it, and if you do pay attention the whole time you still might not get all of it. Also, do not bring your 3 year old child to this movie. In fact, do not bring your 3 year old child to any rated R movie. It's rated R for a reason.

And one last recommendation: If at this point you haven't read the book, then just go see the movie and then read the book afterwards.

The Watchmen gets 8 Beards.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno

In the immortal words of that elderly couple who sat behind Kevin in Reno 911: Miami (7 Beards): "What is this a pooooorrrrrnnnnooooo?!" No, but seriously, this movie isn't ACTUALLY a porno. Although, my mom think it is if she ever actually watched it, but I'll go to great lengths to make sure that never happens. In a lot of ways Zack and Miri Make A Porno may look like a porno, it's really about the making of a porno. When this is over can I get someone to count how many times I say 'porno' in this review?

The movie starts two of the new faces of comedy Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks. They play lifelong friends who are living together platonically in the same town they grew up, working shit jobs, and struggling to pay bills that were due months ago. The plot's fairly simple, but it works because the humor of this movie is driven by basically one thing: that two best friends are trying to make a porno together because all their utilities are cut off and they're about to get evicted.  

What suprised me about this was how at the end of this movie, they stripped away the comedy and suddenly there was this resolution to a story that I had been unwittingly following. Basically, once I stopped laughing and settled down for two seconds, I realized that this movie actually had something going on. That something turned out to be pretty good. And, they also threw in just enough twists to take a rather tired story and make it interesting and endearing.

Who's gonna like this movie? Well let me ask you a few questions:

Do you like Seth Rogen?

Do you like Kevin Smith movies?

Do you like porno titles that are sexy reimaginings of actual movie titles?

Do you like porno?

If you answered yes to any of those, then you're going to like this movie. If you answered yes to more then one, you're really going to like this movie. And, if you didn't answer yes to any of those questions then, well, you should probably go watch Brokeback Mountain again.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno gets 6 Beards.

The Wackness

I won't lie in this next sentence. I loved Josh and Drake, even after Josh got skinny. I mean, it was still a great show just Josh's self depreciating humor didn't quite make so much sense (or did it because possibly he was still wrestling with his inaccurate self-percieved body image due to his rapid weight loss?). Seriously, it was still funny. What's not funny is that Carly got her own fucking stupid show and it's fucking stupid. That's not what this is about though, this is about The Wackness and how the reason I chose to watch it is because it stars the infamous Josh Peck. A measure of how stoked I was about this movie? Instead of leaving it festering at the bottom of my Netflix Queue I bumped it up to just below the last 4 discs of Battlestar.

First off, this movie is set in the summer of 1994 and it is the most 90s-tastic movie that wasn't made in the 90's that I have ever seen. I almost got nostalgic. Part of this setting was the soundtrack, which was awesome because it mainly featured some of the best rap to come out of the late 80's and early 90's. They throw a few other tracks in there as well, but overall it was probably one of the most aptly put together soundtracks I've heard in a while. This is mainly due to the fact that music made sense in time with the movie.

Anyways, the film follows Josh Peck as 18 yr old Luke Shapiro who has just graduated high school and is trying to earn as much money as he can in his summer before college by selling more weed. What was interesting is that the drug aspect of this film ends up taking a back seat and really only seems to serve as a vessel to string all the elements of the plot together, and to tug them along through the stream so they don't get caught in some twigs and stagnate. Beyond this the film revolves around Luke's relationship with his (kind of) shrink Dr. Spires and their relationship with eachother as well as the women in their lives.

The Wackness takes on a lot of big thoughts in this film and succeeds completely. I was totally satisfied at the end. Part of me wishes I had watched this when I was 17 or 18, but the other part of me knows that I would have rejected most of it outright because it has a backdrop of drug culture. The rest of the movie really overshadows this though (like I said before) and it's the challenges Luke and Spires face that are what really make this movie appealing. Besides all this though, the movie was excellently shot with quite a few Charlie Kaufman-esque cuts and dreams sequences that are excellently interwoven to keep from the veiwer from feeling complacent.

This is a movie I would recommend that most people under the age of 35 watch, but I make no promises that it will be fully enjoyed.

The Wackness gets 7 Beards And A Moustache.

Josh and Drake gets 6 Beards pending a full review.

The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford

I think this movie sat on my Netflix queue for at least 3 or 4 months before I finally got it. After receiving it I'm pretty sure it sat around my house for at least a week or two. Eventually, I broke down from the boredom of cleaning my room and decided to watch all 2 hours and 40 minutes of it. I think the reason it sat around for so long is because I was apprehensive about watching it. While I had heard some good things about it, the majority of the what was on the grapevine was negative a la, "terrible"; "worst movie I have ever seen"; "bored me to tears"; "my grandmother killed herself while watching it."

 

The first highly notable thing about this film is that it seems like every damn person in it is a super famous and/or super awesome actor. Doesn't matter how small the roll, it's probably someone famous. On top of this, the acting in this film is fantabulous. Brad Pitt, Sam Rockwell, and Casey Affleck especially play their roles delightfully. The roles played by actresses such as Mary-Louise Parker and Zooey Deschanel are brief, suprising, and effective as well. In retrospect, my opinion on Brad Pitt in this movie may be a bit swayed. He plays a crazy person, and we all know how much I love when Brad Pitt plays crazy people (see: Fight Club and 12 Monkeys).

The movie is paced in a horrifically ungainly manner, and there are long stretches of silence punctuated by dialogue that often made me squirm in my seat. Parts of this movie will make you think you're getting bored, but you're probably not. It's hard to describe this movie because it's something that has to be taken as a whole. I wouldn't even go so far as to say I had a favorite part. It also has a narrator who comes in intermittently to fill you in on what has happened in the inexplicable time jumps that have just occured.

Despite all that, I really enjoyed The Assassination of Jesse James. As I said above, it's something that has to be taken in as a whole. If you only catch parts of it, or turn it off halfway through, or come in halfway through, you're probably not going to like it. I also recommend watching it by yourself so that there isn't anyone else around to distract you or interrupt it.

The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford gets 6 Beards.

Quantum Of Solace

Somehow we all managed to drag our sorry asses out of bed around 1030 yesterday and managed to make it to the theater (that is a 2 minute drive) by 1130. Barely. We showed up and plunked down our $4.75 and got to see the newest James Bond installment: Quantum Of Solace. Let me preface all of this by stating that I think the new Bond films are the best because they are finally taking the series in a new direction.

Now to start off, let's talk about Daniel Craig. Mr. Craig has been in some of my favorite movies over the last 6 or 7 years (Munich, Layer Cake, Road to Perdition, Golden Compass) and with the addition of his role in the new Bond movies and the preview for his upcoming film Defiance my enjoyment of him has only grown. While I fully recognize that Connery was an awesome Bond, he was definitely the best of the old school Bonds while Craig is the flag bearer of the new vanguard. In my humble opinion Craig's Bond is better than Connery's Bond. He just plays him with a little bit more edge that I never realized was missing until Craig brought it to the table. He basically makes all the other Bonds look like softies.

Ok, now that I've blown enough smoke up Daniel Craig's ass, lets talk about the rest of the movie. Quatum of Solace comes right out and kicks you in the left nut, and then walks away for a minute during the intro sequence/credits and then comes back and kicks you in the right nut. Feel free to substitute nuts for vagina lips, ladies. Anyways, this is to prepare for a movie full of "Oh my god"s "Wow"s and "Holy shit"s. These phrase can also be upgraded by adding "that's awesome!" to the end of them. The film is rock solid. Excellent filming really helps set and keep the mood of each scene as well as the overall story. The writing and dialogue is also interesting but efficient, I don't really feel like anything unneccesary was said. In addition, I totally got a big geek boner over the technology displayed in this film as well. A lot of it was subtle but the stuff used in the MI6 headquarters was fracking amazing.

The thing I liked most about this movie can be boiled down to one idea: continuity. This movie literally picks up no more than 15-30 mins after where Casino Royale ended. The continuity they are building here is impressive, and it definitely lends itself to a more immersive and therefore enjoyable experience. All the previous Bond movies had a serious single serving aspect to them and in retrospect I feel like that hurt them a little bit. One other thing of importance to me is the turn towards realism that these two films have taken. As much as I loved Q, the nonsense gadgets and Aston Martins with more weaponry than an armored cavalry division are not missed.

Quantum of Solace gets 9 Beards for being fucking awesome.

In Bruges

Oh, hello there, Interwebs, I didn't see you there.  Let me put my pants back on.  Ok, now that we're that much more intimate I've got a little story to tell.  It's a story about a little film called In Bruges, and I'm going to tell as best I can remember because I may have been drunk while watching it.  Or, I could've been totally sober sitting on my couch soaking my ass rash in a bucket of mayonaise and tomato soup.

Starring Colin Farrell and Ralph Fiennes (there are others buy you probably don't know them) the movie follows the story of two hit men who are sent to the small city of Bruges, Belgium after a botched job.  Haha, I accidentally typed bitched at first.  That was funny.  Moving on.  There are two main characters: the younger hitman, Ray (played by Farrell) who thinks Bruges is a shithol, and Ken (played by not Ralp Fiennes) who thinks it's a delightful little town.

The story is fairly straightforward, but also interestingly designed.  I was pretty much enraptured the whole time and found myself both laughing hysterically and deeply concerned for the characters.  Granted when some of you watch it and think back on my reaction it may jsut cement your findings that I am missing the morality section of my brain since this move involves several moments of extreme violence, racism, and drug use.  All of which I found hysterical.

In Bruges gets a solid 9 Beards because there's not a single moment in the movie where I felt uninterested. 

P.S. Don't watch this movie if you don't like blood.

The Savagaes

In addition to renting Strange Wilderness the other day, the lady and I also rented The Savages. I had seen previews for it, but figured it was something I could wait to come to video (can I still say that since videocassettes are no longer used?) since it didn't appear to be an action movie with a million dollar effects budget. You know what I mean? You spend $10 to see something like Iron Man or Independence Day on the big screen, or even something like Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. But, movies like The Savages you save for home viewing.

ANYWAYS, the movie was excellent. Laura Linney needs to win some kind of award this year. Between this movie and the John Adams miniseries on HBO she has been stellar. Of course, this is only enhanced by an excellent performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. The two play brother and sister who have been estranged from their father for quite a while (I can't remember if it was years or decades) but are suddenly reunited with him and are forced to deal with his newly developed dementia and deteriorating condition.

I wont give anymore away, so I'll just tell you that the movie was very good and very moving and that I felt it really conveyed the emotions of what its like to deal with a dying parent, even if they have been out of your life for some time. The movie was filmed very simply, nothing over the top and nothing horribly artsy, and I think that really worked with the piece. As a good descriptor, this movie was like a more realistic and far less whimsical Big Fish. I definitely recommend this movie to anyone.

The Savages gets 6 Beards.

Strange Wilderness

There was something very wrong with this movie. Maybe it was the bad acting, or the poor story, or the bad filming. Either way, I can't put my finger on it and I have to tell you all, Don't Watch It.

The movie was just bad, and even the presence of Allen Covert, Jonah Hill, and Justin Long couldn't help to salvage the thing. I mean, it had a few amusing parts and I chuckled a few times, but I spent most of the movie just wondering what the fuck was going on. And, the ending was just retarded. That's all I've got to say. Oh, that and the fact the laughing shark part was funny, but not 6 times in a row.

This review is over, Strange Wilderness gets 2 Beards for the couple chuckles it got out of me.

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull

Alright, to be honest this post should've been up like 2 days ago, but I've been distracted by three things: the massive archives of Scary-Go-Round, Dr. Apollo von Pizza, and marker fumes. They are very distracting indeed. But, enough wish-wash. We went to the 12:01 showing at our local theater, and let me just say I am very glad we went and saw it before pretty much 99% of everyone else who will ever watch this movie. No, really I am.

So, honestly it's been twenty years since the last Jone's flick, but I am convinced that Harrison Ford gets into this costume on the weekends and pretends to be Indiana like Jews celebrate the Sabbath, dutifully, regularly, and from sundown till sunup. He was pretty swell. Karen Allen's return was pretty swell, and the development of her character was nice too. She was no longer the smarmy, smart-mouthed lush she was in Raiders, but was much more fitting with what had happened to her in between. They also very neatly wrote out some old characters, and added some excellent new characters. These new people being of course Shia TheBeef and Cate Blanchett. I thought both played their characters excellently, and really helped flesh out plot of the movie.

*****SPOILER ALERT******




As for the plot, I thought it was well conceived and an excellent late 40's continuation of the kind of things Indiana Jones had experienced and sought after in the original three films. The transition from Nazis to Russians was (to me at least) the only logical choice and I'm glad it was made rather then going for some kind of rebel Nazi group fighting on in the Fuhrer's memory. This was already excellently done by Hellboy and others and did not need to be reiterated. While the whole alien skull thing may have been a tough pill for some to swallow, I thought it made perfect sense. It fit right in with the scientific and military priorities of Russia at the time as well as many popular, if not decried, theories about early human civilization. Bravo to George and David for bringing us a fine story and a fine script.




******SPOILERS OVER********





Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull (forever after to be refered to as Indiana Jones 4) gets Seven Beards and A Mustache.

Smart People

I went to the Emerald City Comicon today (you'll get an update on that tomorrow when it's over) and in the middle decide to take a break for lunch. Well, I decided to go see a movie too since the theater was right across the street from the convention center. So, of course I went and saw Iron Man and I'm going to say flat out that it was absolutely horrible. First of, who the fuck decided to put Ellen Page and Sarah Jessica Parker into Iron Man? And, I thought they had cast Robert Downey, Jr to play Iron Man not fucking Dennis Quaid.

Also, when did Iron Man become a sentimental tale of a dysfunctional family centered around an embittered father who has retreated inside his own intelligence since his wife's death and then the generally breaking out of said hiding place? I thought Iron Man was supposed to be about a man made out Iron that flies around and blows shit up?

WTF.

Anyways, my main complaint is that nothing blew up in this movie, other than my heart.

Smart People get's 5 Beards for being well filmed, smart, and compelling. See at the dollar theater or rent it.

Iron Man

Look, just got back from seeing Iron Man. It was the best comic book movie i've seen, there is no doubt about it. All I'm saying is, if you're not a comic follower you'll love it. if you ARE, then this is a guaranteed must own, once it gets to DvD, that you'll enjoy to have amongst your collection. (plus, stay till the end of the credits)



9 beards- lets just say if it only goes to Blue-Ray, I'll buy a BR player without thinking twice. (which is big for me, i hate blue ray... just another more expensive disc for me to scratch up no matter how protective)

The Mist

I just watched The Mist. Shit's fucked up. Eight Beards. Better update later. Maybe.

Wristcutters: A Love Story

I saw a preview for this movie a while ago, probably at our local "Independent" movie theater Miracle 5 which is actually owned by Regal Cinemas, and remember being quite interested in it. So, when Kate and I sat down to watch a movie On Demand today and it was the first one to pop up on the list (and I refreshed my memory on what movie it was) we dove right into it. The premise is rather simple, a guy is upset because his girlfriend dumepd him, so he kills himself. He ends up in suicide purgatory? Which is just like the real world, only crappier.

The movie stars Patrick Fugit (Almost Famous), Shannyn Sossamon (A Knight's Tale, The Holiday), and Will Arnett (Let's Go To Prison, Arrested Development) are the most well known names in this movie, and they all do a pretty good job. I liked this movie because of the semi-unique setting and just the quirkyness of it as well. I'd recommend it to some, but not to others, and either way it's not something to rush out and go find right away but definitely worth a watch if it crosses your path.

Wristcutters: A Love Story gets 6 Beards.

Dan In Real Life

My overweight and illiterate roommate rented Dan In Real Life the other day, and I was mildly excited about it because I love watching Steve Carell when he's not acting like a Brick. It had been a while so I couldn't remember the previews and ergo could not remember the premise of the film. Leave it to say that I was delightfully surprised, and was overjoyed with the persistent awkwardness that movie seemed to revolve around. The premise of course being that Steve Carrel's character is a widower with 3 kids who meets a woman in a bookstore while at a family reunion, falls in love with her, and then finds out shes dating his younger brother, played by Dane Cook. I really liked Dane in this movie, he played his character well. Also, as an added bonus, the dad of the family is played by the dad from Fraiser! Yay, John Mahoney!

The movie was great, right up until the last like 8 minutes, at which point I lost all respect for it. The rest of the movie had been a delightfully slight departure for the norm on this type of movie, and then in the end they had to go and ruin it. THINGS DO NOT RECONCILE THAT EASILY.

Dan In Real Life gets 4 Beards.

Children Of Men

The lady and I watched Children Of Men the night before last, as I needed to refresh it in my memory for a paper I was writing and she had never seen it. Released in 2006, this movie ended up in the top of many movie critics best movies of the year lists. Directed by Alfonso Cuaron, who also brought us Y tu mama tambien and the blockbuster Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, and starring Clive Owen. Julianne Moore, and Michael Caine (omg, i'm so excited for Dark Night!). The movie is apparently loosely based off the novel by the same name, but how similar they are I don't know. Who reads anyways?

The premise of the movie is rather original, to me, and lends to creating an excellent setting. In the future women inexplicably become infertile, which leads to a massive change in the human social spectrum that causes much of the world to collapse. The movie follows Theo Faron (Clive Owen) in a futuristic, semi-police state, Britain trying to get by when he is suddenly swept up into a crazy scheme by his estranged wife, Julian Taylor (Julianne Moore), who is the head of a rebel group, in order to save mankind's last hope at survival.

So, yeah. The film is gripping, powerful, emotional, and chockful of ideas about humanity, social relations, government, gloablization, race, and sexism. It definitely makes me feel like someone opened a window and let some pollen in at the end. The cinematography is fantastic, and the dialogue is equal parts human, intelligent, and witty. Sadly, as Kate pointed out to me, the character development is lacking, especially in Jasper's wife. (crickets) You'll get it after you see the wife. But, seriously. Other than Theo, and to some extent Julian, most of the characters are very static. Besides this, though, the movie is pretty excellent.

Children of Men gets 8 Beards and A Mustache, for excellent story, excellent cinematography, and one of the most intense and emotional long shots I've ever seen in a movie.

There Will Be Blood

This was an incredible film. I saw it for free, however i would of gladly shelled out 10 bucks for the film.
For those of you that don't know about this film, because you could make your way out of that rock you have been living under, its a story of a Man, (Mr. Plainview- as played bu Daniel Day- Lewis) who started a oil company from the ground up. I don't want to disclose too much storyline, but understand this; this is a film that focuses on the Character of Daniel Plainview. (this is what won him an Oscar for best actor)This is a story of family, greed, religion, and oil. Apart from Daniel Day-Lewis we also see Paul Dano ( the older kid from little miss sunshine) in the film. His character is a reverend in a New Boston California, a city that Mr. Plainview is drilling oil in. Again i can't tell you too much about storyline, but the acting is surreal, i definatly get a great sense of time with Day-Lewis however i saw Dano a bit far fetched, but when you see the movie you can understand why he is such a kook. Fact is, go see it. INCREDIBLE.

Solid 8 beards

Run Fatboy Run

What I still don't understand is why they couldn't put the appropriate commas in the title? They did it in the UK version, why not the American version. Two measly commas is all I ask. But, alas, I must digress. Run Fatboy Run is David Schwimmer's first foray into directing movies, and he couldn't have picked a better crew to do it with then Simon Pegg's. Having already written and stared in two highly successful films (Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) that could make you cry and think as easily as they made you laugh, this movie had great promise to it before I even got in the theater. Simon also collaborated with that evil bastard of the comedy underworld, Michael Ian Black, to write the script which I think only made the film better.

The movie's premise is simple, Dennis (Simon Pegg) leaves his pregnant fiance, Libby, at the altar on their wedding day. The majority of the movie takes place 5 years later with Shaun trying to come to terms with being a father and watching Libby having turned her attentions to a new man. However, this isn't some sappy crap filled éclair of a love story, but rather an exploration of the journey towards self responsibility we all must make. The importance of friends also plays a major role in the film as well, almost as major as Dylan Moran's (who plays Dennis' best friend and Libby's cousing) bare man ass. I would've much rather seen more of India de Beaufort's ass. But, whatever.

David Schwimmer made an excellent directing debut. He really made the movie work, and it was nice to see a divergence from the fast paced, quick cut directing style of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Also the soundtrack was excellent. Totally loved it. It was fabulous, totally wow. Rad. No, seriously, great soundtrack. I recommend this movie to everyone, unless you hit British people, then fuck you.

Run Fatboy Run gets 7 Beards and A Mustache for being quite excellent.

Jumper

The lady and I went to see Jumper last night which leads to me blogging about it this morning.

It was enjoyable. It was a campy (I don't really know what that means but it seems appropriate) sci-fi film. I'm just going to make a list of points about the film, since lists seem to be my thing lately.

1) Randy said it best, it's the Nightcrawler movie, except there are a lot of nightcrawlers, and they're not blue.
2) Hayden Christensen cannot act. He just can't do it.
3) The movie teases you with a lot of information that makes you think that this movie was just a small chunk of a larger idea. Sequel? God, I sure hope so.
4) The love story was alright. The love interest girl, lady, whose name I can not remember and am too lazy to IMDB was presented with two shocking revelations in the movie. One was handled quite weirdly, but that could be cause by the script, and the second was handled quite well I think. She was good.
5) Sam Jackson only actually kills one person in this movie and that kind of makes me sad.
6) The weapons and battles in this movie are pretty cool, wish there had been more of that.

Overall it was kind of awesome. Go see it at the dollar theater or at a matinée and don't go in expecting to be blown away.

Jumper gets 3 Beards.