Good Pyschology movie?

Okay kids, because I only have about 25 tv stations, I've been watching a lot of ABC Family. Because of this I have subjected myself to their "Countdown to the 25 days of Christmas" (and for those of you wondering there are 7 days until the 25 days of Christmas countdown.)
I bring this up to you because I recently watched a movie called Holiday in Handcuffs.

The movie is about a woman named "Trudie" played by Melissa Joan Hart who plans to visit her family with her then boyfriend Nick. Nick breaks up with her the day they are supposed to leave and then like all girls are apt to do Trudie goes crazy. Since she is working as waitress she chooses the best looking guy there (Mario A.C. Slater Lopez) and kidnaps him to bring home and meet her parents at Christmas.

Normally a movie like this would not be worth the celluloid it was filmed on, very basic. But the place that this movie shines is the fact that it depicts two psychological conditions and very well I might add. The first condition is Stockholm Syndrome where a kidnapping victim grows to like and care for their kidnapper.
The second is Lima syndrome which is the opposite, the kidnapper starts to develop feelings for their victim.
Okay without to much more text because I started this thing after a night of drinking...huh? yes I was up drinking and watching ABC Family what's it to you?

Holiday in Handcuffs gets 4 Clarissa explained beards
(side note I woke up and proofread this slightly then posted it, hooray drunk past randy for being lazy!)

Quantum Of Solace

Somehow we all managed to drag our sorry asses out of bed around 1030 yesterday and managed to make it to the theater (that is a 2 minute drive) by 1130. Barely. We showed up and plunked down our $4.75 and got to see the newest James Bond installment: Quantum Of Solace. Let me preface all of this by stating that I think the new Bond films are the best because they are finally taking the series in a new direction.

Now to start off, let's talk about Daniel Craig. Mr. Craig has been in some of my favorite movies over the last 6 or 7 years (Munich, Layer Cake, Road to Perdition, Golden Compass) and with the addition of his role in the new Bond movies and the preview for his upcoming film Defiance my enjoyment of him has only grown. While I fully recognize that Connery was an awesome Bond, he was definitely the best of the old school Bonds while Craig is the flag bearer of the new vanguard. In my humble opinion Craig's Bond is better than Connery's Bond. He just plays him with a little bit more edge that I never realized was missing until Craig brought it to the table. He basically makes all the other Bonds look like softies.

Ok, now that I've blown enough smoke up Daniel Craig's ass, lets talk about the rest of the movie. Quatum of Solace comes right out and kicks you in the left nut, and then walks away for a minute during the intro sequence/credits and then comes back and kicks you in the right nut. Feel free to substitute nuts for vagina lips, ladies. Anyways, this is to prepare for a movie full of "Oh my god"s "Wow"s and "Holy shit"s. These phrase can also be upgraded by adding "that's awesome!" to the end of them. The film is rock solid. Excellent filming really helps set and keep the mood of each scene as well as the overall story. The writing and dialogue is also interesting but efficient, I don't really feel like anything unneccesary was said. In addition, I totally got a big geek boner over the technology displayed in this film as well. A lot of it was subtle but the stuff used in the MI6 headquarters was fracking amazing.

The thing I liked most about this movie can be boiled down to one idea: continuity. This movie literally picks up no more than 15-30 mins after where Casino Royale ended. The continuity they are building here is impressive, and it definitely lends itself to a more immersive and therefore enjoyable experience. All the previous Bond movies had a serious single serving aspect to them and in retrospect I feel like that hurt them a little bit. One other thing of importance to me is the turn towards realism that these two films have taken. As much as I loved Q, the nonsense gadgets and Aston Martins with more weaponry than an armored cavalry division are not missed.

Quantum of Solace gets 9 Beards for being fucking awesome.

New Facebook

What's this?  Double update?  Well, I did neglect this thing for a long time.  I figured I should try to get a second one up to make it happy.  Haha, see what I did there?  No?  Well screw you, jerk.  I'm here to talk about something a bit controversial today: the new version of Facebook.

Let me get this out of the way.  Everyone who hates the new Facebook is a fucking troglodyte who should have their internet priveleges revoked.

The biggest complaint I've heard is that people can't find the things they're looking for, and my counter to this is, take 30 seconds out of your day and maybe look around the screen a little bit.  Most things have simply been rearranged.  Now, I know this might be a little tough to deal with, because lord knows people have a hard enough time with Publix moving something from one aisle to another, but God forbid the programmers move a link on their favorite social networking site.  And, also, no one ever sends me a petition against Publix when they decide to rearrange the layout of their store.

The profiles are where we saw the biggest changes, with the addition of the tabs.  While this may seem dumb at first, it's actually quite ingeniuous because now you don't have to go srolling all over the damn place trying to find someones contact info, favorite's lists, Bumper Stickers, etc.  Also, the combination of the wall and the news feed is ingenious.  I love it.  I think it's the smartest thing Facebook has done since adding the ability to comment on peoples' status.

Wait, I take it back.  The smartest thing Facebook has done, and the definitive argument in favor of the new Facebook is the Pirate setting for the language.  Just scroll to the bottom of any page, and in the left hand corner next to the copyright is the language setting, just change it to English(Pirate) and you'll see what I mean.

New Facebook gets 7 Beards for being a big step forward, and for not kowtowing to the pressures of the ignroant masses.  Of course it lost points for still being Facebook and still causing me to waste endless hours of my life and because the goddamn picture uploading app still sucks.

In Bruges

Oh, hello there, Interwebs, I didn't see you there.  Let me put my pants back on.  Ok, now that we're that much more intimate I've got a little story to tell.  It's a story about a little film called In Bruges, and I'm going to tell as best I can remember because I may have been drunk while watching it.  Or, I could've been totally sober sitting on my couch soaking my ass rash in a bucket of mayonaise and tomato soup.

Starring Colin Farrell and Ralph Fiennes (there are others buy you probably don't know them) the movie follows the story of two hit men who are sent to the small city of Bruges, Belgium after a botched job.  Haha, I accidentally typed bitched at first.  That was funny.  Moving on.  There are two main characters: the younger hitman, Ray (played by Farrell) who thinks Bruges is a shithol, and Ken (played by not Ralp Fiennes) who thinks it's a delightful little town.

The story is fairly straightforward, but also interestingly designed.  I was pretty much enraptured the whole time and found myself both laughing hysterically and deeply concerned for the characters.  Granted when some of you watch it and think back on my reaction it may jsut cement your findings that I am missing the morality section of my brain since this move involves several moments of extreme violence, racism, and drug use.  All of which I found hysterical.

In Bruges gets a solid 9 Beards because there's not a single moment in the movie where I felt uninterested. 

P.S. Don't watch this movie if you don't like blood.

Champagne/ Sparkling Wine

Alright kids and..kiddettes..(hey is that a word?...yeah I know it's got the red squiggly thing under it..ahh to hell with it I'll keep it in there.) Sorry for the major delay but I've been doing things that make me to gassy to type, and they smell is just awful. But let's move on to something that has recently been on my mind. I've been drinking a wider variety of things lately, and have recently consumed different types of Champagne.
Before I get into the "Judgement" I'd like to give a short history of wine. It was made by French monks just as a light wine used for Eucharist and anointing kings. Later it became the bubbly wine that we know now until about 17th century. When fermentation caused it to be carbonated, making some corks and bottles to go 'splode. Giving it the name "The Devil's Wine." "Champagne" is made in the Champagne region of France and is one of the names protected by the EU's Protected Designation of Origin. (Like Feta, Grappa, and Asaigo.)

My most recent scrap with sparkling wine has been Cristal. For those of you have haven't had it, the swill tastes like Flintstones chewable vitamins. It's just so damn gross. Now if you enjoy the taste of Flintstones Chewable that's all you. Me however? I don't dig it. I've had good tasting Champagne and Expensive Champagne. But this stuff is to much of the latter and not enough of the former.
The main reason that I dislike Champagnes and Sparkling wines is that there is a small amount of sugar added to second fermentation process. It's that sugar that leaves you with a severe case of hangover (Or as I call it "Head Hurty/Head 'Splodey" ) after drinking waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy... to much.(more than 2 glasses). Now if you want to get drunk off of something Champagne is the way to go. Those sugars combined with it's carbonation will get you messed up. Anyways I've rambled enough let us go to the judging section.

Based on a basic 5 beards standard
-1 beard for being the ultimate giver of Head 'Splodey.
-1 beard for being made in France the country that is only a'ight because they gave us Parkour and Jean Reno.
+1 beard for being able to get you drunk real fast.
-1 Beard for usually tasting like crap.

So for those of you bad with math... Champagne/ Sparkling wine gets a "less than average" 3 beards from me. Use it only when needed. Like when you're trying to get your girlfriend drunk. So she'll pass out and let you play video games and eat Nachos in peace.