The Space Shuttle

This morning at approximately 830 AM Summer and I decided that we were going to leave work an hour early and drive the 4-4.5 hours to Titusville, FL in order to see what is scheduled to be one of the last Shuttle Launches ever. In addition, it will probably be one of the last night launches as well, since NASA seems to launch at night far less regularly then during the day. I'm filled with quite a bit of excitement right now, which I'm pretty sure is doing more to keep me awake then the coffee is at this moment, but it also spurred me to do a little extra digging on what is going on with NASA. I mean, I already kinda know, but I decided I needed to know more and that I need to share that information with you. Oh, and also that it needed to be saddled with an appropriate number of beards.

To begin with, NASA is cutting it's Shuttle program because it is a bloated beast. At approximately $60,000,000 per launch, the Shuttle is no longer a viable vehicle for space travel. Unfortunately, at the moment it is really the best method the world has for delivering and/or returning large payloads and crews to from space and the Internation Space Station (ISS). The program is scheduled to end with a final flight by the Shuttle Endeavour on May 31, 2010.

The replacement for the Shuttle is actually kind of a step backwards, but since it's supposed to be part of our return to the moon as well as continued service to the ISS I guess it kind of makes sense. The replacement vehicles are part of the program called the Constellation Program. The program consists of the Ares V, which will be used for delivering large cargo payloads to the ISS as well as preliminary equipment to the moon. In addition, astronauts will now reach space via a combination of the Ares I booster rocket and the Orion crew module (which looks eerily like the return modules used during the Apollo missions, but lacks the distinct form of the attached moon lander).

There is a problem here, and that lies in the fact that the Ares and Orion launch systems are not slated to be ready until 2014 at the latest, and according to more pessimistic (and probably more realistic) opinions may not be ready for flight until 2015. This leaves NASA with a full 4-5 years in which they will have to rely on Russian Soyuz-rocket flights to get American Astronauts into space. The problem here is that after Russia's little skirmish with Georgia, Russo-American relations are a little strained and will probably need to be relaxed before Russia agrees to allow American astronauts on their flights again. On top of this, one must worry that Russia might revert in to the USSR again before we get our Ares system up and running.

All of this only serves to reinforce my belief in the need for either NASA to be partially, privatized or for private corporations to really start picking up the ball on economizing (relatively) space travel. One more reason I love Google is for their Lunar X Prize which offers a $20,000,000 prize to whoever manages to land a rover on the moon, have it travel a minimum of 500 meters, and transmit back high definition video and audio. The contest also includes a 2nd place prize of $5,000,000. In addition, bonus prizes totaling up to $5,000,000 will be awarded for such accomplishments as "roving long distances (greater than 5,000 meters), capturing images of man made objects on the moon, detecting ice on one of the Moon's craters, discovering the remains of Apollo program hardware, or surviving a lunar night." The Lunar X Prize is simply a continuation of the Ansari X Prize which awarded $10,000,000 to the first "non-government organization" to successfully launch a manned spacecraft into space twice within two weeks.

However, more needs to be done. Companies like Boeing, Lockheed-Martin, and their competitors both domestic and foreign need to start investing serious capital into research and development of travel to and habitation in space. Also, power companies need to seriously start considering, researching, and pursuing the amount of energy that can be produced by solar arrays that are placed in high orbit.

Alright, that's all I got. I mean, I love space and I want to see Mankind find a truly viable means for us to move beyond this planet before I die in a hundred years. 

The Space Shuttle gets 5 Beards because despite being really expensive it has allowed us to stay at the front of the Space game for over 20 years.

The Constellation Program gets 5 Beards because while I'm glad we're moving away from the Shuttle program, this program seems to lack any kind of innovation.

The X-Prize Foundation gets 7 Beards for facilitating research and development in the private space industry.

Non-government organizations get 1 Beard for not doing enough to get my ass into space.

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore

I think this will be the first book review that I've done here? That's been done on here? It's not that we don't read, well I read, everyone else in this madhouse is illiterate, I swear to god, but it's really more so that prior to January when I was still in school I didn't do much leisure reading, and what I did just never made it's way to The Beard. Wow, ok, MOVING ALONG. A couple of weeks ago Jana kicked me in the back of knee, causing me to fall to the ground where upon she proceed to choke me until I agreed to purchase and read the book A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore. So I did.

The book has an interesting premise: Charlie Asher wtinesses the death of his wife mere moments after the birth of their daughter and his life is irrevocably changed because he is now an agent of Death. This is probably the most light hearted take on Death and dying that I've ever read or viewed. Despite this, Moore manages to maintain a relatively somber and semi-serious tone throughout the book; the key word here being relative since quite a bit of what takes place in this novel is actually quite ridiculous.

What really kept me going in A Dirty Job wasn't neccesarily the plot or the action, but rather it was the characters. Moore does an absolutely excellent job of writing Charlie Asher as the pinnacle of the Beta Male. This excellence extends to the rest of the main characters as well, each with their own quality of dialogue and thoughts to the point where you could show me any line of dialogue (of reasonable length) from the book and I could probably told you who said it.

I only had two real issues with this book, one being pretty minor and the other being kind of significant. The minor issue is that the book has some pacing issues early on, as in I was wholly uninterested and bored for about the first 40 pages. After that though, it was fantastic. My second problem, is not neccesarily the fault of the book itselt, but more then likely a product of the type of books I've read over the course of my life. When I finished this book, it didn't leave me with that heady sense of revelation and/or satisfaction that one gets from reading something along the lines of say 1984 or Frankenstein. A Dirty Job is a light snack in comparison to these smorgasbords. But, if that's what you're looking for, something quick, easy, and enjoyable to read then by all means go for it.

Last note: this book is probably good for anyone 14 or older. Mainly because I think anyone younger then that wouldn't really be able to grasp all of the emotional aspects, and that parents might not want their children to be exposed to the several scenes of blatant sexual tension between some of the characters.

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore gets 5 Beards.

The Watchmen

Hello, Darkness, my old friend. I saw you again this weekend when I went to see The Watchmen on Saturday. Ok, enough of that. Saturday after Brandon and Randy accidentally ate raw beef from the Chinese buffet we went to for lunch, we hoped over to the mall to catch the 13:45 showing of The Watchmen. I had strange feelings going into this movie; mainly I wanted the movie to be awesome, but while still doing justice to the original story.

The movie started out exactly as it should have: with the Comedian's death. From there it moved directly into what can really only be described as the best possible translation of the book into the movie. (Part of me wants to stop mentioning the book, but on second thought that would be rather impossible).

Director Zack Snyder did an absolutely excellent job of casting the characters in this film. I was most impressed with the choices of Billy Crudup, Jackie Earle Haley, and Jeffery Dean Morgan for the roles of Dr. Manhattan, Rorschach, and The Comedian respectively. I was also rather impressed with the acting since all of the characters were so thoroughly fleshed out and left no room for the actors to make them their own. This is of course something I agree with in any movie that is a direct or near direct translation of a book to a film.

In addition the effects of this movie were quite satisfactory. There was never a moment where the CGI was glaringly obvious enough to make me consciously recognize it, which is often an issue for me. Along with the effects, I was heartily impressed with the soundtrack. Each song used just felt  so deliciously appropriate, and it really helped to set the mood/facilitate the atmosphere of what was going on at any particular time in the movie.

Besides all of this, I was most impressed with the film itself. It managed to take a very complex story line, one infused with many many subtle sub-plots and by cutting out a lot of these sub stories present to us the core of the novel, and along with it the core story and all that it entails. Considering the film was only 2 hours and 45 mins long, the film managed to convey almost every essential aspect of this movie. A post film conversation made me realize that while I could definitely nit-pick this movie to death, I would rather just leave it alone and enjoy it for what it was.

A quick aside here before I throw down my final judgement: The Watchmen is NOT a comic book movie. It is not like Spider-Man, Ironman, The Fantastic 4, or even the new Batman films. This is a very mature movie, with very mature themes and very intellectual ideas. You have to pay attention to this movie from beginning to end or you will not get it, and if you do pay attention the whole time you still might not get all of it. Also, do not bring your 3 year old child to this movie. In fact, do not bring your 3 year old child to any rated R movie. It's rated R for a reason.

And one last recommendation: If at this point you haven't read the book, then just go see the movie and then read the book afterwards.

The Watchmen gets 8 Beards.