English Language.

English is so damn hard. And not the fun kind of hard, just hard.
Other languages use genders so you know how to use or spell a word. Other languages use accents so you know exactly how to pronounce a word. Other languages have rules that can be broken for either religious or historical purposes.

English doesn't use any kind of identifiers so you know how to use a word. English provides zero clues on how some words are supposed to be pronounced. English has rules that are broken because they ....oh that's right they don't have a reason.

No matter what the rule, English says "Hey fuck you i don't have to follow the rules I make them" Grammar, Spelling, Pronunciation or whatever, it breaks rules. For instance see the following. I before E except after C. My ass. The vowels are A,E,I,O,U and sometimes Y? what is that an afterthought? Did some asshole ask the language tribunal "Can I use Y when i don't feel like an I?"

In school i was taught that usually when a word has the same ending they friggen rhymed.

the suffix at- hat, cat, bat, that, mat, the word at...yeah all of those rhymed.

the three letters omb
Put a C in front of it: Comb. Put a B in front of it: Bomb Put a T in front of it: Tomb. Put a W in front of it: Womb. comb,bomb,tomb,womb- none of those rhyme.
what the hell?

and definitions for words? The word cleave: to take apart and put together....how can a word mean opposites? Want to be mad some more? Look at the definitions for the word SET.

And here are 10 more examples.
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
9) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
10) After a number of injections my jaw got number.



So initially the English language gets one beard from me. It gets an additionally beard for making up rules and having the balls to break it because it can, and finally one more beard because English is the only language that i can speak properly and fully.

Final Score: three beards.