Fireworks

I was at the Magic Kindom at Disney World, Orlando over the weekend for the first time in probably 6 years. We of course waited till the end in order to watch the fireworks, which to be honest I had forgotten how awesome Disney's fireworks are. We're talking about near and far rockets coordinated with narration, sound, and music.
But to the nitty-gritty, fireworks themselves. I'm running on a decent database of memories here because I haven't actually lit off fireworks in a couple of years.

• Fireworks contain the word fire, and require fire to work, and result in an explosion the core of which is essentially fire.
• They're colorful, especially the big ones. And, they're bright. I like bright and colorful. I'm also not gay, just easily distracted and entertained.
• The bigger they are, the louder they are. Usually. I remember lighting off my first mortar in middle school. We didn't drop it in a tube or anything, and it wasn't even July. We just lit it in the middle of the basketball court and ran for our lives towards the bus stop. Still one of the loudest things I've experienced minus gunshots and that one time Alan got his bare toe stuck under the automatically opening door behind Reynolds. He screamed like a bitch.
• FIRE. EXPLOSIONS. LOUD.
• You can shoot them at your friends with relatively minor consequences. In case mom sees. Then the consequences are dire. Although, I wouldn't recommend anything bigger than a bottle rocket or a small roman candle. Don't go pointing Saturn Batteries at each other.

So, in conclusion, Fireworks are pretty awesome and get 7 Beards and A Mustache.

In rebuttal to Randy's lame ass post about head butts, from which he pirated most of his information from Maddox, similar to the way he wrote most of his high school humor columns by stealing lists of interesting conundrums and misspellings from the internet, I would like to say that the headbutt does not deserve 8 Beards and A Mustache.
The head butt is a rather weak attack, even when done correctly, and does little more then stun and embarrass an opponent. Sadly, the head butt leaves oneself open to swift retribution from an opponent if you do no connect properly or the enemy is not taken by surprise. God knows I've punched a few potential head butters in the skull for trying such a thing.

Head butts get 3 Beards from me.