Tornadoes

Sorry for the break in updates. Kevin, Alan, and I have been on Spring Break, not really sure what Randy's been doing though. Anyways, we had a couple tornadoes come through northern Florida the other day and so I figured I'd give them an assessment. I've decided to do this by class. We'll be using the Fujita Scale today which ranges from F0 to F6.

F0 - These tornadoes are pussy shit. I stood in the path of one once and it couldn't even get my dick off the ground. F0 tornadoes get 1 Beard
F1 - These tornadoes are only slightly better, they'll give my lawn a nice trim, get the deadwood out of my trees, rake the lawn, and maybe blow up some girl's skirt or dress for a sweet, swift pantie peek. F1 tornadoes get 4 Beards for being mildly useful.
F2 - F2's will wreck your lawn and deshingle your roof. They are the exact opposite of the F1 and therefore get 1 Beard for being a freaking pain in my ass.
F3 - This category will probably help to rid your town of any resident red neck trailer infestations as well as help clear out any bums. This thing will lift your straight off your feet to a certain death. There is no land of queer midgets and roads made of wasted gold. Wizard of Oz was a lie, god damnit, a fucking lie. Fuck that movie! Fuck you Dorothy, and Lion, and Robot boy. Thats what would've made that movie better, if Tin Man had been more like Roy Batty and less like Cpl. Timothy P Upham. Man, fuck you, Upham. F3's get 4 Beards.
F4 - This shit will ruin your day. Do not plan picnics for F4 days, you will not get to eat anything it will all be blown away, even you, and your virginity, so maybe you should just give it up already quit being a prude. F4's get 5 Beards because they blow harder then your grandma does.
F5 - The F5 will seriously fuck your shit up. This mother fucker will repossess your car and your house and won't try to do it sneakily in the middle of the night. You'll hear this bitch coming from a mile away, like a freight train full of bad high school marching bands. F5's get 7 Beards for doin' what it wants.
F6 - If earth was a woman being fucked from behind then the F6 tornado would be the big dicked bitch behind her plowing away regardless of how much she might claim that it "hurts". F6's get 9 Beards for tearing up Earth's ass and making it their Bitch.